REVIEW: IRON MAN 3

Let me completely preface this with a review with the fact that, despite my low-ranking social status in high school, I never have been a nerd about much except for movies.  Film provides an escape for me, which is really why I got into it. So before I get into my thrashing of this movie, I want to make it clear I've seen all of the Marvel Phase 1 movies in theaters only ONCE. I do not re-watch them, I do not read the comic books they're based off of or ever desire to, I'm purely interested in the cinematic adaptation.  The strongest I've ever felt connected to a superhero is Spider-Man, who was a pasty nerd like myself. (And the Hulk to some extent, I was an angry kid.)

And I fully realize I'm in the minority when I say I didn't enjoy "Iron Man 3," a sputtering, one-line firing disappointment of a trilogy finale. There's obviously a way of doing them right, take my #2 favorite film of last year, "The Dark Knight Rises," a dark, gritty and explosive ending to an epic franchise with an ultra-memorable villain.  "Iron Man 3" doesn't have that....especially that last part, but I'm not providing spoilers, as I've avoided the past week of "IM3" conversation, with exclaims of it being the best in the series by far.

Here is a note to filmmakers: it is never, ever, EVER a wise decision to put Eifel 65's aggravating "hit" "Blue (Da Ba Dee), you know, that 2000s song that was covered by that weird little frog. Right away, even though, in context it was appropriate, as Stark was seen at a Y2K New Year's party, it was a little red flag going off, saying "You're not gonna like this movie. Daba dee daba dye."  And then from there...I just could NOT get into "Iron Man 3" for the life of me. And lord knows I attempted. I tried to get into the rapid humor Shane Black and co. stuffed in there, with Downey Jr.'s usually sarcastic but hilarious playboy genius billionaire getting replaced with a smug tool firing off one-liners.

Stark isn't the only one, though.  Cheadle, Paltrow, Pearce as scientist villain Killian all just rattle off joke after joke, and after a while it feels like that friend you talk to who's ALWAYS trying to make you laugh. Like everything he says is either sarcastic and after a while you get tired of nodding your head and fake laughing at everything he says.  Plus the heart that was so visible in the first installment, and to some degree "Iron Man 2," is sorely lacking in this picture, perhaps because 1 and 2 director Jon Favreau got demoted to executive producer, which is
a title more than anything, and 15 minutes of screen time.

But I'm nothing if not fair...the action sequences are exhilaration, and the final battle sequence with the Mandarin does evoke that wonder I got in 2008 when watching the original in awe, eating popcorn with my best friend.  Also, the humor isn't totally void, there are still some solid jokes among all the pop culture references, like Downton Abbey.  Overall, as a comic book movie fan, I wanted more than to reward "Iron Man 3," with the same lauding I donned the Batman series with.  But despite the quasi-final ending, this grand finale came up short.  And for that twist everyone's talking about...ooh...don't get me started.  In the Mandarin's own words....you'll neverrr see itttt comin.'

Rating: 1.5/4 stars